February is upon us, for most folks that means Valentine’s Day. But before you go breaking out the chocolates, roses and champagne, allow me to shed some light on a few things. Not so much on Valentine’s Day but on choosing your Valentine.
Why is it that when it comes to choosing a partner, so often we let our guard down and just let whimsical thinking take over? Now, don’t get me wrong…I am one of the biggest hopeless romantics around but when it comes to matters of the heart I have learned thru my own life lessons to take a step back. I used to think all it takes is just seeing the guy who caught my eye, feeling the “spark” and all would be well. But as I have gotten older and experienced relationships I have come to learn a valuable lesson in love.
Thanks to Patti Stanger from Million Dollar Matchmaker, raises a valid point when it comes to dating and picking the “one”. Instead of just going with the first signs of physical attraction…take a step back and consider this “Qualify The Buyer”. Why is it with everything else we feel is an important purchase in our life we take the time to do the research, get feedback and weigh all the options before we make the “purchase”? We find out what other people have said about the product, does it come with a warranty, what kind of stock does it come from, what kind of mileage does it have, does it have good credit, is it a credible source, a positive experience? So then, why is it when it comes to a mate we just jump in with both feet at the first sign of attraction? A mate in my opinion is one of the most important purchases/commitments we will ever make in our lives. Clearly, we do not purchase each other but in a way, it is a lifetime investment. So take the time to really do your homework.
So what about that little thing that makes us go run thru the red light without stopping and blurs our vision so we cannot make clear decisions? What might that be you ask? Two words: SEX and LUST. Steve Harvey said it should take no less than 90 days before you consider sleeping with a potential mate. Why? Because once you sleep with someone it complicates things, especially if you are a woman. Emotions get involved and you are instantly connected. This is a scientific fact. Thru a chemical released in our female bodies during sex called pitocin . Think of it like a bonding agent. With knowing that now as a female, knowing that sleeping with someone bonds you to them…why not think twice. Do you really want to risk being bonded to Bozo the clown?
Consider this, being intimate with someone means sharing our most intimate and private parts of our body and soul. Why would you chance that on some random person/purchase and risk hurting yourself or someone else. Are you not worth taking the time and investment to see who is worthy of receiving YOU. Not you receiving them as we tend to think. YOU are the pristine prize…so qualify the buyer! You are worth it.
So what should some of the things you need to consider to qualify the buyer? For starters, make sure the person is of good character, integrity and makes you smile. A person that does not make you doubt yourself but instead supports , respects and encourages your growth and success. A person with a good track record (a compulsive cheater does not qualify!), someone with Love in their heart and good energy that does not make you feel drained or stressed when they leave the room. Trust your gut, instincts and your heart. Do not let fear hold you back from the love you deserve and never settle!
Now that you are armed with information, and you know your self worth…go out there and pick your Valentine Remember you are worth it and only accept someone who is qualified to be with you. Only you can set what the standard of those qualifications are. “You get, what you expect”. So aim high my little cupids. Love is in the air….
Happy Valentine’s Day to You!
~Namaste
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
The Holiday Season
‘Tis the season to be jolly…break out the egg nog and mistletoe. Sometimes the holiday season can be difficult for people who do not have loved ones to share it with. Family is so important but I also know that family is who you make it. So even though you might not have traditional family members, remember we have friends that give us the love and comfort we need. That is what makes the holiday season special. Those special moments shared in the presence of others are what make it memorable.
I also find that giving to others warms the heart, try to find a charitable organization in your community and volunteer. There are so many people in need and by giving to others, in return you are also giving to yourself.
The holiday season can be so nostaligic, with the smell of pine from the Christmas trees, holiday lights, Christmas music, the hussle and bussle of the Christmas shoppers in the mall makes it so special. Just be reminded that if this season tends to bring you down for being single, or having lost a loved one, or being alone, or whatever sad emotion brings you down, try to remember the things in your life that you are blessed with. It’s not about what we have in our lives but who we have in our lives that makes a difference. Do something nice for yourself, treat yourself to that dream vacation or that cashmiere sweater you have had your eye on…whatever it is that makes you feel good, be sure to do that. It’s important to nurture ourselves so we can be a blessing to those we love.
~Namaste
I also find that giving to others warms the heart, try to find a charitable organization in your community and volunteer. There are so many people in need and by giving to others, in return you are also giving to yourself.
The holiday season can be so nostaligic, with the smell of pine from the Christmas trees, holiday lights, Christmas music, the hussle and bussle of the Christmas shoppers in the mall makes it so special. Just be reminded that if this season tends to bring you down for being single, or having lost a loved one, or being alone, or whatever sad emotion brings you down, try to remember the things in your life that you are blessed with. It’s not about what we have in our lives but who we have in our lives that makes a difference. Do something nice for yourself, treat yourself to that dream vacation or that cashmiere sweater you have had your eye on…whatever it is that makes you feel good, be sure to do that. It’s important to nurture ourselves so we can be a blessing to those we love.
~Namaste
Listen
“Can you hear me now?” No, this is not a Verizon commercial but we all have heard this said time and time again. I was talking to my best friend the other day and I asked him if he felt like I was being truly present in our conversations. By present, I mean, fully paying attention and actively listening to what he was saying. That made me think about how often we go thru conversations and leave them sometimes not even understanding or fully remembering what the person was really talking about.
A lot of times, people just want someone who will listen to them. It is not so much about giving them feedback but more so about just being a sounding board. I heard a statistic the other day that the average person only pays full attention for 17 seconds in a conversation before they already want to interject or have started planning a response, thus checking out of the conversation to form their thought process. So my challenge to myself and to you is to just listen intently until the person has finished speaking and then give a response. That means, turn off the tv, sit with open body language facing the person, maintain eye contact and be fully present in the moment and conversation. Give the person full attention. This makes a big difference to the person who is speaking because it says that we care about them and what they are saying is important.
It is also important to give them feedback that you are listening by acknowledging what they are saying by either nodding your head, or saying “uh huh” or “ok, I hear you” etc. Communication is a two way street, it’s a dance of give and take and back and forth. By making it an interactive experience it raises the conversation to just mindless chatter to quality time with dialogue that has depth to it. The person who is talking to you will appreciate it and will often times feel better just from having shared their thoughts with you and you receiving them from a place of openness, warmth, sensitivity and caring.
Remember, words are very powerful. So think before you speak and next time someone is trying to talk to you…BE PRESENT and LISTEN.
~Namaste
A lot of times, people just want someone who will listen to them. It is not so much about giving them feedback but more so about just being a sounding board. I heard a statistic the other day that the average person only pays full attention for 17 seconds in a conversation before they already want to interject or have started planning a response, thus checking out of the conversation to form their thought process. So my challenge to myself and to you is to just listen intently until the person has finished speaking and then give a response. That means, turn off the tv, sit with open body language facing the person, maintain eye contact and be fully present in the moment and conversation. Give the person full attention. This makes a big difference to the person who is speaking because it says that we care about them and what they are saying is important.
It is also important to give them feedback that you are listening by acknowledging what they are saying by either nodding your head, or saying “uh huh” or “ok, I hear you” etc. Communication is a two way street, it’s a dance of give and take and back and forth. By making it an interactive experience it raises the conversation to just mindless chatter to quality time with dialogue that has depth to it. The person who is talking to you will appreciate it and will often times feel better just from having shared their thoughts with you and you receiving them from a place of openness, warmth, sensitivity and caring.
Remember, words are very powerful. So think before you speak and next time someone is trying to talk to you…BE PRESENT and LISTEN.
~Namaste
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Act As IF...
We have all heard the term, “fake it until you make it”. As cliché as this sounds, it really works. The power of our minds is so strong that we can will what we want into our lives by energizing our thoughts. This is the “Law of Attraction” so wonderfully illustrated in the book: The Secret from which the inspiration for this post came. We can attract what we desire just by thinking, feeling and visualizing it in our minds.
One way to do this is by Visualization. Sit quietly by yourself, quiet your thoughts and bring to the forefront of your mind the whatever it is that you want to attract to you. Say it be a dream vacation for example, actually see yourself laying on the beach, feel the sun’s warmth on your skin, the smell of the salt in the ocean, the sound of the waves smashing against the shore etc. Visualize yourself there, relaxing and taking it all in. Feel it to the point that it becomes real in your mind. By doing this, you are actually charging the energy of that experience and drawing it to you. Your mind does not know the difference between what is real or not, it just knows what your thought process says is “real”. I know this might sound a little far fetched but it works. You have heard of people who are deathly ill that “will” themselves back to health. They see it in their mind, decide that they are already healthy and then their body starts to heal. Or athletes who visualize themselves already crossing the finish line first and winning before they even begin to run the race.
This all speaks to the same practice of empowering your thought process to attract what you will into your life. Pay attention to what you are thinking about, what are you giving energy to?
Remember, whether it is positive or negative, your mind does not know the difference. It just knows that energy you are putting out into the universe and will attract whatever that is to you. A good example of this is in dating…have you ever asked yourself why you keep attracting the same person over and over again just in different forms? You are what you attract. So be sure when you feel a negative thought process to change the frequency of that thought and focus on something else that is positive. If you get into the habit of doing this often it will become a habit. It’s the same as saying a Mantra every day, the more you say it, the more you will start to believe it and become it. The power of the great two powerful words “I AM”. Next time you are in front of the mirror say to yourself “I AM beautiful, I AM successful, I AM happy” etc. And you will become that, your mind will believe it and attract that to you.
I leave you with this, “What a man thinketh,… he becometh”.
Namaste,
~Maureen
One way to do this is by Visualization. Sit quietly by yourself, quiet your thoughts and bring to the forefront of your mind the whatever it is that you want to attract to you. Say it be a dream vacation for example, actually see yourself laying on the beach, feel the sun’s warmth on your skin, the smell of the salt in the ocean, the sound of the waves smashing against the shore etc. Visualize yourself there, relaxing and taking it all in. Feel it to the point that it becomes real in your mind. By doing this, you are actually charging the energy of that experience and drawing it to you. Your mind does not know the difference between what is real or not, it just knows what your thought process says is “real”. I know this might sound a little far fetched but it works. You have heard of people who are deathly ill that “will” themselves back to health. They see it in their mind, decide that they are already healthy and then their body starts to heal. Or athletes who visualize themselves already crossing the finish line first and winning before they even begin to run the race.
This all speaks to the same practice of empowering your thought process to attract what you will into your life. Pay attention to what you are thinking about, what are you giving energy to?
Remember, whether it is positive or negative, your mind does not know the difference. It just knows that energy you are putting out into the universe and will attract whatever that is to you. A good example of this is in dating…have you ever asked yourself why you keep attracting the same person over and over again just in different forms? You are what you attract. So be sure when you feel a negative thought process to change the frequency of that thought and focus on something else that is positive. If you get into the habit of doing this often it will become a habit. It’s the same as saying a Mantra every day, the more you say it, the more you will start to believe it and become it. The power of the great two powerful words “I AM”. Next time you are in front of the mirror say to yourself “I AM beautiful, I AM successful, I AM happy” etc. And you will become that, your mind will believe it and attract that to you.
I leave you with this, “What a man thinketh,… he becometh”.
Namaste,
~Maureen
Monday, October 25, 2010
Release It!!!
Let’s just get straight to the point shall we? What is it that you know is holding you back that you need to release? You know what it is that makes you stay in that uncomfortable place of complacency. I know this because it happens to me too. Why is it so hard to release? Because it feels comfortable. It is what you have come to know as the “norm”. It is temporary self-gratification that is not worth it in the long run.
Whatever that bad habit or unhealthy lifestyle you are leading that is not in sync with your positive destiny. We can feel it inside when we are out of balance with our center. It’s a feeling of anxiousness and agitation that does not sit well with us. It’s time to do some fall cleaning and release it. We cannot move forward if we are still holding on to the baggage that weighs us down from living our best lives and being our best selves. You have to ask yourself, “is holding onto this thing really worth it?” In the big picture of things, it is holding you back from the next level of your life that you want to achieve. Change is never comfortable, but it is necessary and required for self-GROWTH.
You have to chose, do you want to hold on to your unhealthy habit or thing or feeling or memory or whatever that “it” is? Or do you want to choose the next level of your best life? A healthy, happy, loving, positive life free of your baggage. It’s that simple; you have the power of choice…so it’s up to you. No one can do it for you; no one can make you do it, only YOU can do it. In doing so, not only are you freeing yourself up of the extra weight from your baggage, but you are making a conscious decision to chose “YOU” because you are worth it. You deserve all the things your heart desires, but you have to feel like you are worth it. Then RELEASE IT!!!
CHOICE is yours.
I hope you chose you today.
~Namaste.
Whatever that bad habit or unhealthy lifestyle you are leading that is not in sync with your positive destiny. We can feel it inside when we are out of balance with our center. It’s a feeling of anxiousness and agitation that does not sit well with us. It’s time to do some fall cleaning and release it. We cannot move forward if we are still holding on to the baggage that weighs us down from living our best lives and being our best selves. You have to ask yourself, “is holding onto this thing really worth it?” In the big picture of things, it is holding you back from the next level of your life that you want to achieve. Change is never comfortable, but it is necessary and required for self-GROWTH.
You have to chose, do you want to hold on to your unhealthy habit or thing or feeling or memory or whatever that “it” is? Or do you want to choose the next level of your best life? A healthy, happy, loving, positive life free of your baggage. It’s that simple; you have the power of choice…so it’s up to you. No one can do it for you; no one can make you do it, only YOU can do it. In doing so, not only are you freeing yourself up of the extra weight from your baggage, but you are making a conscious decision to chose “YOU” because you are worth it. You deserve all the things your heart desires, but you have to feel like you are worth it. Then RELEASE IT!!!
CHOICE is yours.
I hope you chose you today.
~Namaste.
Monday, October 18, 2010
The Difference
Often times I go thru my day and I hear something that strikes a chord in me that I feel is a message meant for me to hear at that exact moment. That is truly how spirit speaks to me, not directly but thru other people. With that being said, last night I was watching TV when I heard this quote “The difference between: I am here…and here I am”. It’s one of those quotes you have to say more than once for it to resonate with you.
So it got me thinking, how often do we just go thru life just “being here” and not really being fully in the moment. How many of us take that stand and say “I am here!” in all my wonderful glory and full existence, experiencing my life in vibrant living color. We make excuses and get caught up in our daily grind and end up like the hamster on the wheel just going round in circles in our daily routines. Do we really stop to smell the roses? When was the last time we had a real conversation with someone and truly listened to what they were saying? Not just half-listening but really hearing what they are saying? Or took the time to really enjoy good meal verses just stuffing our faces. Taking the fork in our mouth and savor all the different flavors in the food that are infusing our taste buds. Or really looking at someone we love, see how they smile, what colors their eyes are, and the little freckle on the side of their face or the cute way they toss their head back when they laugh?
I know it’s a cliché but it truly is the little things that count in life. They say GOD is in the details, when you take the time to really be present in your life, and pay attention is when you will see how present GOD really is in your life. Whoever your source is whether you call it GOD, Buddha, Spirit, Earth mother, etc. That which resonates inside of you that is bigger than yourself. In order to see, we have to be still…there is a saying that says “One cannot see ones reflection in fast running water”…to be present, you have to stop and pay attention to the details. Be present and truly be “here” not just floating thru your life with a non-existence type of attitude. Life is what you make it, a lot of times it’s the beautiful things in our life that we take for granted because we are too busy looking for the big picture or living in the past or future and letting the present pass us by. So TODAY, let this be your moment to truly be here.
The difference between “I am here” and “here I” am is in being STILL and paying attention to the details.
GOD is in the details.
Namaste.
~Maureen
So it got me thinking, how often do we just go thru life just “being here” and not really being fully in the moment. How many of us take that stand and say “I am here!” in all my wonderful glory and full existence, experiencing my life in vibrant living color. We make excuses and get caught up in our daily grind and end up like the hamster on the wheel just going round in circles in our daily routines. Do we really stop to smell the roses? When was the last time we had a real conversation with someone and truly listened to what they were saying? Not just half-listening but really hearing what they are saying? Or took the time to really enjoy good meal verses just stuffing our faces. Taking the fork in our mouth and savor all the different flavors in the food that are infusing our taste buds. Or really looking at someone we love, see how they smile, what colors their eyes are, and the little freckle on the side of their face or the cute way they toss their head back when they laugh?
I know it’s a cliché but it truly is the little things that count in life. They say GOD is in the details, when you take the time to really be present in your life, and pay attention is when you will see how present GOD really is in your life. Whoever your source is whether you call it GOD, Buddha, Spirit, Earth mother, etc. That which resonates inside of you that is bigger than yourself. In order to see, we have to be still…there is a saying that says “One cannot see ones reflection in fast running water”…to be present, you have to stop and pay attention to the details. Be present and truly be “here” not just floating thru your life with a non-existence type of attitude. Life is what you make it, a lot of times it’s the beautiful things in our life that we take for granted because we are too busy looking for the big picture or living in the past or future and letting the present pass us by. So TODAY, let this be your moment to truly be here.
The difference between “I am here” and “here I” am is in being STILL and paying attention to the details.
GOD is in the details.
Namaste.
~Maureen
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
I Dare ME!!
Let me start by saying that writing these blogs is as much for me as a life coach as they are for you. When we speak our own truth, we in turn speak each
other’s truth. So I thank you for the opportunity to live authentically and allowing me to speak my truth to you.
This is a great time for me to start to think about next year. January is symbolic to me because it not only is the beginning of the calendar year but also my birthday. Fall is the time I usually come back to my list and re-evaluate where I am, where I want to be and where I need to be. A time for me to put my plan in place for the New Year so come January 1, I am blasting out of the gates with my guns blazing!
That being said, it is now October so that leaves me two months to figure out what my next steps will be. I have some big decisions to make and what those choices will mean to me in the overall grand scheme of things. So often, we seem to get held back by fear. We make excuses for the things we know we need to do and just stay in our comfort zones because that is what feels safe to us. I have often said that I admired someone that lives a passionate life than a comfortable life. Life is too short to wait for your “someday” or “one day” because all we have is today. Tomorrow is not guaranteed so your someday is right now. You have to go after what you believe you deserve and fight for your dreams, because if not you then who? If you don’t believe in your talents and skills enough to pursue them, why should anyone else? Of course it’s not easy and change is not comfortable but that is how we push ourselves thru to the next level of our lives. We cannot let FEAR or the unknown keep us from taking that first step towards our destiny.
We make excuses that we need to do this or that, or wait for this or that to happen before we take the necessary steps to living our full lives but that is not going to get us to the next step. I was reminded this week that we are never going to have everything in the exact perfect place before we decide to do anything. Nothing in life is a guarantee, not even life itself. You have to have FAITH that the choices you are making are all part of the grand plan to get you to the next level of your life. And sure you might fall on your face, but that’s the beauty of second chances. You just pick yourself up and try again. At least you tried and no one can fault you for that. We will never have all the answers, we just have to TRUST that we are exactly where we are meant to be in this moment and time in our lives. We always have the power of CHOICE. The choices we make will influence our destiny. It’s like sliding doors, you have to decide what door to open but know that each choice comes with consequences and responsibility. You cannot be afraid to make a decision or you will never move forward. Trust your gut and know that you have everything you need to be successful in your choice. In whatever area of your life needs to shift, you will feel it inside you. I know that agitation very well. Anyone that knows me, will tell you that I am always moving forward and hate to be complacent, never satisfied and always hungry to learn more. I am always doing self-work because I know that to be the best person you can be, you have to be willing to be a student of life. Each of your experiences is your lesson and guide to the next level.
If it is your career you are anxious about, then move! Explore other options…who says you have to do one thing? You are a person with many talents and gifts, so go out there and explore them. Also be sure to tell people what you are up to, what you are striving towards, what dreams you are after. You never know who is listening, who can help you, who knows someone who can help you. It is my belief that Angels are always in our midst, so that one conversation could be that chance of a lifetime you have been waiting for all your life. Telling that special person that you love and want them could be the door that opens you to your soul/life mate. You never know until you take the chance to say something. Now that is not to say that it will be reciprocated but you won’t know until you try. Wouldn’t you rather you knew then spend your whole life wondering “what if”?
Only you can make things happen in your life. No one can live your life for you. You have to go out there, wear your “S” on your chest and take that leap of faith. Complacency has never been something that works for me, I am always thinking positive and progressive. Always thinking next steps, I take pride in being self-sufficient and independent so standing in still waters has never appealed to me. I’d rather ride the wild rapids and see what adventures lay ahead. Life does not come to you, you have to go after it.
So here is your charge: I DARE you to go after your dreams. Make a “bucket list” of things you have always wanted to do, see, touch, feel and experience and then start to check it off. I started to do this back in 2000 and it has been an awesome testament to my life. DARE to take a chance, DARE to love, DARE to live. You are so worth it!
I DARE YOU!!!
other’s truth. So I thank you for the opportunity to live authentically and allowing me to speak my truth to you.
This is a great time for me to start to think about next year. January is symbolic to me because it not only is the beginning of the calendar year but also my birthday. Fall is the time I usually come back to my list and re-evaluate where I am, where I want to be and where I need to be. A time for me to put my plan in place for the New Year so come January 1, I am blasting out of the gates with my guns blazing!
That being said, it is now October so that leaves me two months to figure out what my next steps will be. I have some big decisions to make and what those choices will mean to me in the overall grand scheme of things. So often, we seem to get held back by fear. We make excuses for the things we know we need to do and just stay in our comfort zones because that is what feels safe to us. I have often said that I admired someone that lives a passionate life than a comfortable life. Life is too short to wait for your “someday” or “one day” because all we have is today. Tomorrow is not guaranteed so your someday is right now. You have to go after what you believe you deserve and fight for your dreams, because if not you then who? If you don’t believe in your talents and skills enough to pursue them, why should anyone else? Of course it’s not easy and change is not comfortable but that is how we push ourselves thru to the next level of our lives. We cannot let FEAR or the unknown keep us from taking that first step towards our destiny.
We make excuses that we need to do this or that, or wait for this or that to happen before we take the necessary steps to living our full lives but that is not going to get us to the next step. I was reminded this week that we are never going to have everything in the exact perfect place before we decide to do anything. Nothing in life is a guarantee, not even life itself. You have to have FAITH that the choices you are making are all part of the grand plan to get you to the next level of your life. And sure you might fall on your face, but that’s the beauty of second chances. You just pick yourself up and try again. At least you tried and no one can fault you for that. We will never have all the answers, we just have to TRUST that we are exactly where we are meant to be in this moment and time in our lives. We always have the power of CHOICE. The choices we make will influence our destiny. It’s like sliding doors, you have to decide what door to open but know that each choice comes with consequences and responsibility. You cannot be afraid to make a decision or you will never move forward. Trust your gut and know that you have everything you need to be successful in your choice. In whatever area of your life needs to shift, you will feel it inside you. I know that agitation very well. Anyone that knows me, will tell you that I am always moving forward and hate to be complacent, never satisfied and always hungry to learn more. I am always doing self-work because I know that to be the best person you can be, you have to be willing to be a student of life. Each of your experiences is your lesson and guide to the next level.
If it is your career you are anxious about, then move! Explore other options…who says you have to do one thing? You are a person with many talents and gifts, so go out there and explore them. Also be sure to tell people what you are up to, what you are striving towards, what dreams you are after. You never know who is listening, who can help you, who knows someone who can help you. It is my belief that Angels are always in our midst, so that one conversation could be that chance of a lifetime you have been waiting for all your life. Telling that special person that you love and want them could be the door that opens you to your soul/life mate. You never know until you take the chance to say something. Now that is not to say that it will be reciprocated but you won’t know until you try. Wouldn’t you rather you knew then spend your whole life wondering “what if”?
Only you can make things happen in your life. No one can live your life for you. You have to go out there, wear your “S” on your chest and take that leap of faith. Complacency has never been something that works for me, I am always thinking positive and progressive. Always thinking next steps, I take pride in being self-sufficient and independent so standing in still waters has never appealed to me. I’d rather ride the wild rapids and see what adventures lay ahead. Life does not come to you, you have to go after it.
So here is your charge: I DARE you to go after your dreams. Make a “bucket list” of things you have always wanted to do, see, touch, feel and experience and then start to check it off. I started to do this back in 2000 and it has been an awesome testament to my life. DARE to take a chance, DARE to love, DARE to live. You are so worth it!
I DARE YOU!!!
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